Hello and welcome to Surviving Life’s Hurdles!
Before you do anything else I would seriously suggest making these few things your top priority. I learned the hard way that until you address these areas surviving your hurdles can seem impossible.
Accept and seek out help and support
Sometimes help will be offered to you, whether through a health service, a charity or from friends and family. Accept that you need this help right now, surviving your hurdle comes first, pride and your urge to be independent need to come second.
Often though if you need help and support it will be up to you seek it out. It can be hard to know where to look but no one is as invested in your life and your future as you so it is up to you to be proactive and to keep trying until you find what you need. The fact you found my blog means you are already starting to do this so great!
Put your wellbeing first
Easier said than done when your life hurdles are weighing down on you and other demands such as family, work and general day-to-day tasks won’t let up either but I can’t stress this enough; put your wellbeing first! Look after your mental and physical health and take time out of your day just for you to help you to relax.
For me, making sure I go for a short walk every day has really helped to clear some headspace, reduce my anxiety levels and improve my sleep quality. It was really hard at first, I had a huge amount of anxiety, wasn’t sleeping and my illness was affecting my ability to walk (my legs felt like jelly and I had issues with my balance) so I had to force myself to go. I’m so glad I did though, just getting out in the fresh air has worked wonders and most days I look forward to my walk; even if the weather is horrid!
Make small changes to succeed
It’s easy to see your end goal and think you must throw everything at it straight away to get there, however if you try to take on too much in one go it is quite likely you are going to fail. The best way to succeed is to make a small change first, stick with and it establish it before moving onto the next thing you need to change.
I’ve applied this approach to so many aspects of my life now, including my personal finances, exercise and work and it has really helped me to stay on track. If I find I’m getting frustrated with an area of my life it is usually because I am trying to introduce change and expecting too much too soon.
Frustration can lead to failure which then also impacts on confidence and your feelings of self-worth. Of course the more you fail at something the more you believe you will never be able to achieve it. Establishing one small change at a time can really help to ensure a sense of achievement and keep you motivated to succeed.
Adapt and focus on what you can do, not what you can’t
When life throws up a hurdle you can’t carry on as before and pass through it you have to do whatever you can to adapt and survive it. If your hurdle means that something that worked for you before doesn’t help now or is even making your situation worse change it. This is beyond scary as it means trying something new and exploring the unknown but you need to accept that the only way to survive is to progress forward and not dig in your heels or bury your head in the sand and hope for the best.
I found this step so hard to achieve and I’m still working on it now. Realistically I was no longer able to work in the job I loved due to ill health but I refused to accept this out of fear of what leaving the security of my job would mean. I tried everything I could to keep my job and ultimately this negatively impacted on my health even more. Once I started to think about what I could do to provide an income for my family instead and started to be proactive in implementing this my wellbeing improved significantly. Yes, I still have a lot of fear of the unknown but I feel like I’m taking control of the situation as best I can.
Believe in your own self-worth
Confidence and self-belief can often be in short supply but when you have a life hurdle to deal with often it can make you question your own self-worth even more. Feeling useless or worthless can be hard to overcome and frequently societal judgements and feeling abandoned by some friends or even family in your time of need can add to these feelings significantly.
When I became ill and was unable to do everything I used to do and everything I wanted to do I started to question my self-worth a lot. When some of the people in my life disappeared when I needed them most it was hurtful and made me feel worse but over time I came to realise that I was better off without them in my life anyway. After all I had so many people around me who were fantastic and really stepped up, supporting me every step of the way, however they could; they could clearly still see my worth so it was time that I did too.